I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm bleeding and have questions
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize