He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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