once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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