According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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