He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
