Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
