Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
