no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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