Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
