My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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