don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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