i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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