so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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