I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize