The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
