just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
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Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
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Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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