Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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