Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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