From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
