I want to stick my p in your. b.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Randomize
