apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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