toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
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