Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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