is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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