Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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