We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
