apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Boobs are out for the taking
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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