there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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