Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
