Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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