we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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