I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
