Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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