This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize