I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
