Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
