Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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