R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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