I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Your penis caused this!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
