i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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