how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize