Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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