Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
