brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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