I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
