im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
