Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
