I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
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