I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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