He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
