There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
