i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
