the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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