So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
