You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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