i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
