I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm always down for nudity.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
