I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
There r osticjed everywhere
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
