you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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