I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
