I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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